molls:

kl7:

$76k for an emergency appendectomy (via Boing Boing)

I’d beg them to just let me die. Seriously.

This is why I will never step foot into a hospital. Forget it. I can be diagnosed in the morgue.

I’ll be fine. Just let me take a lap around the neighborhood and lie down on the couch and if I fall asleep for too long poke me a little. But not too hard or quick so that I wake up afraid. That will just upset me and I won’t be able to tell exactly how I’m feeling.

I had swine flu that one time maybe almost for sure and I lived. I ate a ham sandwich on this Wednesday and then we started hearing radio PSAs for swine flu and then I started to feel crazy sick and then some flu really did like, invade my bod that night. Maybe it was swine, I don’t know. I’m just saying, I had ham on a Wednesday and woke up Thursday looking like, crazy hellish.

Never take me to a hospital. If I am at your house and I start to die, throw me in a cab back home to my dog or just let me die in your backyard and I’ll write a note saying that it wasn’t your fault when we realize that I’m internally bleeding to death. Or I’ll just print this out and keep it in my wallet.

I’m dead serious, guys. If you’re my friend, you’ll never let me get a bill like this.

I have life insurance that will cover my funeral.

Seriously.

I’m ready to go. Anytime. I’m confident. I couldn’t afford to fight with Mother Nature if I wanted to.

just damn good writing.